Be Still

Something I find myself saying quite frequently these days is "Caprina, be still!". It is impossible to change her diaper without saying those words many times over as she tries to squirm/roll/crawl away. A couple days ago I said it and the Lord revealed something new to me about my relationship with Him. One of my favorite scripture passages is Psalm 46:10-11. It says:

¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; 

   I will be exalted among the nations, 

   I will be exalted in the earth.”

 ¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us; 

   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

I often turn to this passage when I am anxious and need the reminder that God (the same Almighty God that created us) is in control and it is foolish of me to try taking things into my own hands. Now, when I tell Capri to "be still" it is for her own good. I need her to be still so I can get the diaper on snug. I so often need to learn to "be still" before the Lord so that He can work in/through me for my good. It is so much more then just realizing He is in control. It is allowing Him to do what He desires in me even though it may be downright uncomfortable at times or I may prefer to be doing something entirely different. He has an eternal perspective while I have such a limited (and often quite selfish) perspective. Capri would much rather be be playing with the toy across the room but if I gave in to her every time she didn't want a diaper change it would ultimately hurt her. I'm so thankful the Lord doesn't give in to all my desires because He truly does know what I need more then I do. I love the many lessons I learn as a parent. It is constantly giving me a new understanding of my relationship with the Lord. 

Road Trip

Bryon and I decided to pack up and head to W.V this past weekend. A trip that used to only require a duffle bag and book bag now requires us to bring half our home. On top of that, a trip that used to take about 6 hours now takes about 8 hours. Hopefully we'll learn to tweak that a little the more we travel but having a baby sure does change things!

The trip was really refreshing. Our purpose in going was to spend some time praying and working on some different projects for raising support. Overall it was very productive and helped give us some more momentum in this whole process. It has been difficult to know how to balance our day to day responsibilities and raising support at the same time. It was nice to get away from home (no laundry, cleaning, phone calls, etc) and focus. When we are up there we don't have cell phone reception, television or internet. The pace of life is so much slower. It is so nice and quiet!

I am always surprised when I go up there by how much I love the area. It is just confirmation that the Lord has put W.V on our hearts for a reason. There is so much beauty in the area and so many people that need to meet the One who created the beauty around them. I am anxious to move there.

Here are a few photos I took while there:

The picture below shows some homes above the basketball court. It's not uncommon to see a bunch of boys playing basketball here in the afternoons. I'm sure Bryon will be spending a lot of time in this area with the young boys when we move here.

Happenings

I feel like the past few weeks have flown by! My family has been pretty under the weather the past couple weeks. It started with me getting a flu of some sort two weeks ago and ever since then one of us has had a cough/sore throat/runny nose. Capri was the first to get the cold when I had the flu but I attributed it to teething. I'm pretty sure it's a full out virus now though. I hate hearing my baby coughing and sniffly. It wasn't long before I got the cold and now Bryon has it as well. It seems to want to hang on to our family for dear life. Thankfully after the first few days it's just an annoyance but not bad enough to hinder us from most of our daily activities. I'm sure all this pollen in the air isn't helping matters. I dusted my home the other day and my dusting rag was yellow from pollen by the time I was done (and I haven't even had my windows open!). My sister, Amanda helped me put all this sneezing into perspective when she wrote in her blog about all the beauty that comes as a result of the pollen. I am looking forward to my family being healthy enough to spend some time enjoying the beauty outside!

My grandparents have been in town for a while. It has been so great being able to see them more often. They have lived in Minnesota my whole life so visits have been few and far between. I have loved being able to head over to my parents anytime I want and spend time with my grandparents. We have created a lot of great memories while they've been in town. We spent a morning at my sisters and had my grandma teach us how to make donuts. Last week we had a girls night with me, my sisters, mom and grandma getting together for dinner and doing our nails (a tradition we've always had with my grandma). We also had a family breakfast at Cracker Barrel with my entire family and my grandparents, it is not an easy task getting all of our schedules to mesh! I envy people whose grandparents have lived close enough to create memories like those on a consistent basis. I treasure these times knowing they can't happen as often as I would like them to. I am thankful I have had these past few weeks with them so close. It has been so special to be able to introduce them to Capri and to see her with her great grandparents.

Projects...

I've been on a project kick lately. If I didn't know better I'd think I was pregnant and nesting again with all the projects I'm doing/want to do in my home. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm anything but creative and crafty. What I can do though, is see something someone else has done and try to duplicate it. That's right my friends, I gank (that's a Bryon word) other people's creative ideas and then I pretend I'm creative.

Here's what I've been working on (or want to work on):

Window Art:

I got an old window from someone who had replaced their windows and were throwing out the old ones. I took out the glass and then sanded and painted the frame. Then I stuck scrapbook paper to cardboard and placed it behind the window frame. Ta da!

Side Note: I have always decorated with pretty dull neutrals. (I'm afraid of color!) Bryon loves color though so I'm attempting to branch out. Man is it difficult. This frame is the beginning of adding color to my home and now I need to bring continuity throughout the rest of the room. It's quite a challenge for me. I keep finding myself gravitating to the dull neutrals again.

Scrapbook:

I've started making a baby scrapbook for Caprina to have when she's older. I'm not sure if this was such a smart move on my part considering I've never really made a scrapbook before. Talk about pressure. A good friend of mine gave me her Cricut (paper cutter) so I've had a blast learning what I can do with it. I've also fallen in love with scrapbook paper. My mind is spinning with all the fun crafts I can do with it. It's a good thing paper isn't too expensive because I could go seriously broke buying it all up. I have a feeling this scrapbook project will be ongoing for quite a while. (I've done one page so far...)

Family Rules Canvas:

I haven't started this yet. You can see my inspiration here. I'm going to use paper (once again my love for scrapbook paper comes out) that will tie together with the window frame I put together. I'm excited to get started on this!

First Food!

Bryon and I gave Caprina some baby cereal last night for the first time. We were very entertained but I don't think Capri was amused. She actually did really well swallowing it but gave us some pretty disgruntled looks in the process. She only consumed about 2 or 3 spoonfuls, the rest ended up on her bib. We're starting pretty slowly and just seeing if she's interested before we introduce it to her on a consistent basis. As fun as it is to introduce some food to her, I can't believe she's getting old enough for it! I feel like my baby is growing way too fast. Whenever I see babies smaller then her I get sad (and she's only four months old!). I think I'm pretty much doomed to be a little sad the rest of my life. haha. On the other hand though, each new stage has been so much fun and whenever I'm feeling like she's growing too fast I remember all the fun things ahead of us.

For Shannon

Apparently I'm pretty horrible at keeping this thing updated. I think the problem is that once I've gone a long time without updating the blog I get overwhelmed at where to begin and how to update without getting too wordy! Thanks to the encouragement from a friend, here's my attempt at getting back into this.

The biggest (and best!) change in my life has been the addition of our sweet baby girl. Caprina Brynn was born on October 19th and has truly stolen Bryon and my heart. She is now four months old and is becoming a lot more interactive which has been so much fun. She loves to smile so of course my whole purpose in life right now is to get a smile (and occasionally a giggle) out of her. Bryon works two jobs to make it possible for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I am so grateful for such a hard working husband. He has given me one of the greatest gifts he could give by allowing me to be at home with our daughter.

We are still pursuing moving to West Virginia. We are currently in the process of raising support. It certainly hasn't been an easy process, but it sure is full of blessings! The Lord is teaching us to be patient for His timing. We are confident that HE will provide the funds we need when we need them. Our goal was to move up there this Spring but because it is taking longer to raise support then we had anticipated it'll probably be later then that. You know something really cool though? Our lease for the home we are renting was up in February and we decided to be very up front with our landlord and let her know about our plans to move to W.V. She told us that we can rent from month to month without signing a year contract and without changing our rental fee. This is a HUGE blessing! This means that when we do raise enough support we'll be able to move quickly (all we have to do is give her a month and a half notice). We are continually encouraged by the people that have chosen to come alongside us as we pursue ministry. Whether it's by prayer, financial support or just words of encouragement we have really been blessed by the many people that are teaming up with us. We know that a strong support system will make a huge difference in our ministry. Pray for us as we continue to build this support group.

While we are still here we have committed to leading a small group for the college students at our church. We are really enjoying opening up our home and getting to know the different students as we dig into scripture with them. They are a great group of people (and some of Capri's biggest fans!).

That's pretty much our lives in a somewhat condensed version. I hope to update this thing more frequently so I'm not constantly having to recap huge amounts of time in our lives. (Hold me accountable!)

Dreams

Last week I met up with some friends and went to Passion City Church in Atlanta. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a new church that is lead by Louie Giglio and Passion ministries. I thoroughly enjoy the way Louie speaks with boldness and enthusiasm about the Lord. Last night, part of the message was about trusting God with your dreams. It was so applicable to where I am right now. I feel like I have a lot of dreams about what the future holds for Bryon and I in our pursuit of serving in full time ministry. It has been easy for me to become anxious about the process it is going to take to get there and about what life will look like once we're there. The verses that Louie zoned in on were Phil. 4:4-7 where it talks about being anxious "for nothing". This was so challenging to me! I tend to want things mapped out for me way in advance and when that doesn't happen, I become anxious. I think I try to justify to myself why it's o.k to be anxious about the things I'm anxious about, but if I take these verses seriously I have to admit that there is never a good reason to be anxious. My anxiety is evidence that I'm not trusting that the Lord knows my desires and that He is ultimately in control of them. If only this was easier to remember!

Speaking of trusting the Lord, Bryon and I are searching for a new home to live in for this next year. We are currently in an apartment but our lease is up at the end of the month. We are looking for a place to rent that has a backyard for Bryon's dog because Bryon's parents are selling their home and need us to take him off their hands. Unfortunately I'm allergic to animals so we need to find a place where we can have him outside and in the garage. It hasn't been easy to find a place in our price range that meets our needs and isn't completely run down. We found a place last week that we both really really like. When we went to look at the house there were three other couples looking at it at the same time. I felt like we were embarking on a popularity contest to see who got the house! The lady renting the house isn't making a profit from it. Supposedly she really likes the house and wants to move back into it later on in life so until then she's just renting it out at cost. We filled out the application that night and turned it in the next morning to try to get in the running before the other prospective buyers. We were told that everyone who looked at the house was serious about wanting it. Over the past few days, the realtor has been in contact with us and has been checking our references and running our credit information. I'm afraid to get my hopes up too much, but I'm thinking those are positive signs that we have a good chance of getting the house. Meanwhile, we are continuing to search rental homes in the area... just in case!

The journey continues...

It's been a while since my last post. I have decided (and evidence shows!) that I'm not very good about being consistent with this thing. Oh well. I'll do what I can and maybe one day I'll be better about updating.

A few weeks ago, Bryon and I decided to take a week off from socializing with other people in order to spend time together praying in the evenings. We did this to seek the Lord's guidance for our future, but more importantly to center our relationship more on Christ. We truly desire to have prayer be a priority in our family and taking a week off to focus on that has helped us jump start that discipline. I have to say though, at the end of the week I was a little discouraged that we didn't have a major breakthrough regarding which direction we are supposed to be heading. We came up with some goals for this year but we were still just as undecided about what steps we should be taking in preparation for next year. A few of the options we were thinking about were whether or not to go to school for more education, go somewhere to receive ministry training, or go directly into working with at-risk youth.

Bryon and I have been praying for a while about moving to W.V. to work with the youth in the Appalachians. I mentioned this briefly in a previous post. It seems like we have both gone back and forth over the past few months (and rarely on the same page about it). Although we didn't get a clear answer about our future after our focused week of praying, the Lord gave me peace that He is in control and that if we're supposed to go to W.V he would make it clear to us both at the same time. I think He wanted to teach me that things don't always happen in my timing and according to my plans. I have a long way to go in learning this lesson! Over the past few weeks, we have been feeling a stronger discontent with where we are at and a strong peace to be moving forward with serving full time in W.V. I'm not really sure what this means and how long this process will take, but I'm so excited to get started on this journey! At this point, we need to figure our how much money needs to be raised as well as begin gathering some much needed prayer support. We know that gathering prayer support from our friends and family as we begin this process is absolutely vital. It is very intimidating to both of us to have to raise financial support so I know we'll need all the prayer and encouragement we can get! I'll keep you all updated as we trudge along in this process.

Fall

I am so thrilled about fall finally showing it's face! As I sit here, I am able to look out my window and see a tree that has decided to show me its true colors, or at least its most beautiful colors. I have had my windows open for about a week now and absolutely love having the fresh air fill our apartment, not to mention the added benefit of saving on our air conditioning bill! The past two falls have been extremely busy times for me. Two years ago I was focused on graduating from college and last year I was extremely busy with wedding planning! Although those experiences were wonderful, they took a lot of my focus. It has been great being able to sit back and completely take in fall this year.

Bryon and I went camping a few weeks ago and have another camping trip planned at the end of the month. I can't seem to get enough of being outside and fully appreciating the gorgeous weather. We registered at REI for our wedding and were excited to finally put some of the camping items we received to good use. Bryon and I both love cool weather and pretty much abhor Georgia heat so we are feeling much more refreshed now! There is something about sleeping in the middle of the woods that causes me to step back and really appreciate all the blessings in my life. I can get so caught up in the day to day activities that I forget to just stop and be grateful. Sitting next to a campfire and sipping on hot chocolate next to my husband made me stop and appreciate how faithful the Lord is to me. One of my favorite songs is "He's Always Been Faithful" by Sara Groves. It is such a positive reminder to me that

"all I have need of His hand will provide". I may think that I need many things (such as a pumpkin candle or a new book?) but I am reminded that my greatest needs can only (and will) be met by Christ. Fall, I joyfully welcome you and everything you have to show me!

Future Plans

One of the exciting aspects of this year has been the knowledge that Bryon and I have a wide open future, full of endless possibilities. We have thrown around so many different ideas/desires regarding what our next steps should look like. Over the past few months, the Lord has placed on our hearts a desire to serve Him by serving people who need to hear how much they are valued and loved. We have been praying for wisdom to know where we should go (or even if we should stay where we are) and what we should do.

One of the passions that the Lord has placed on our hearts for a while has been a community in the West Virginia mountains. Bryon served in this community a few years ago for a summer and had the opportunity to build relationships with some of the boys in the area. The ministry that Bryon teamed up with is a ministry that uses the opportunity of repairing peoples homes to build relationships with the homeowners. This particular area in West Virginia is considered the "third world" of the United States because of the great poverty and high unemployment. The people need to know that they are loved and can have hope in a relationship with Christ despite the negative circumstances surrounding them.

We have been praying about the possibility of moving up to West Virginia to become involved in this ministry. Will you please pray with us and this ministry as we seek the Lord regarding this decision? We are currently praying (along with the team already serving in W.V) that the Lord will make it clear what His desire is for our future. We would love to know that we are being supported in prayer from our friends and family as well.

Saving Money

I am on a journey. This journey involves hours of research and many changes. I am striving hard to become wiser with money and in the process, I am getting caught up in the excitement of the task before me. This process began a couple weeks ago when Bryon was informed that his company was preparing for many layoffs. We knew there was a large chance that Bryon would be laid off because he was the most recent hire. We are very grateful that he was able to keep his job, but also feel like we can be better stewards of the money that we are given now, in case a time does arrive that we need to rely on savings.

My journey began with a stop at couponmom.com. I had heard a lot about this site and was excited to check it out. I have to say, it was fun to realize how much money I could be saving by strategically using coupons. The difficulty with this method of saving was that I would often have to shop at a few different stores in order to receive the best savings. I also had to spend a lot of time cutting out coupons and and comparing the prices of the coupon items to the prices of the generic store brand of the same item. At the end of my shopping trip, many of the coupons I spent time cutting out weren't even used because the generic was cheaper! I did end up saving some money from the tips I used at this site, but it didn't feel like it was worth all the time it took to research and shop.

The next great find was the Aldi grocery store. Bryon was actually the one to challenge me to check it out. We took our publix receipt (the one where everything on it was bought with a coupon and/or special savings, thanks to couponmom.com) and simply compared all the items on the prices to the same items at Aldi. We were so impressed! Every item on the list was cheaper at Aldi then at Publix. I have been able to cut back a lot on my grocery bill now that I'm shopping at Aldi. (do I sound like an advertisement or what?) The only negative aspect of Aldi is their produce. I haven't been very impressed with the fruits and veggies that I've bought there. They seem to get old much faster. My solution is to buy everything except fruits and veggies at Aldi and then run by Publix to buy the fresh produce. It's working out well so far! (Note: Aldi doesn't take coupons which is frustrating since I've spent so much time learning how to utilize my coupons better!)

Now I've come to the latest stop on this journey. E-mealz.com is our newest experiment to help us save money (and time!). E-mealz is a site that creates a shopping list and meal plan based on your personal preferences. You can select whether you're a family or a couple, if you want to shop at Aldi, Publix, Kroger or Walmart and if you want low fat or regular options. The site then creates a menu and a grocery list based off of your choices and tells you how much money you'll spend on your groceries. The verdict is still out about this since it's my first week trying it, but I'll let you know how it works!

In addition to the grocery savings, I've been introduced to the world of thrift stores (thank you Heather!) and prescription freebies from my doctor. It has been exciting to learn new ways to save and I'm looking forward to discovering newer and better ways in the future!

First Post Ever!

I'm feeling a lot of pressure for this post to be extra special because it is after all... *drum roll please*... my FIRST blog ever! I have found myself getting caught up in choosing my background template, changing my text color over and over again and exploring the wide variety of widgets available for blogs. Who knew that in order to design a blog page, you have to make more then one text color decision.

I can relate to Tom Hanks character in "You've Got Mail" when he said "The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.". Instead of coffee choices, I have to decide whether my link color should be green, brown, black, bold, or italicized. After that I have to decide the same thing about the title font, post font, description font and more. And that's just the text! Whew, blogging is exhausting (and fun!). I suppose I could have simply chosen a generic template and started writing down my thoughts right away, but what's the fun in that?

I am sitting at Chick-fil-a drinking my coffee and attempting to stay warm while I watch my husband hard at work. Bryon has been giving up a few of his evenings this week to help fill in some shifts here. We are thankful for the opportunity to have some additional income, but have missed each other a lot this week. Bryon is such a hard worker. I am so thankful that I never have to fear that he will provide for me to the best of his ability. He has been working full time at his regular job and then coming straight here to close. He doesn't get home until after 11 and then wakes up the next morning to do it all again. I am continually overwhelmed with how blessed I am to have such a hard working husband.

I have been praying a lot about how the Lord wants to use me. I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am not doing what I was created to do. It is easy to get discouraged and feel like I need to be a better person and stronger in my relationship with the Lord before I can be used by Him. I know though that He is simply waiting for me to be willing. He has given Bryon and I a passion for children/youth that desperately need to be loved. I have a desire to be a comfort and encouragement to youth who don't have someone in their lives to tell them they are loved and valued. Please be praying for us as we seek the Lord regarding what the future holds for us.